I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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