idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
