i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
