It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize