i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
