Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
