just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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