the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
