you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
