I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize