yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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