We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
smell my finger.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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