brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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