Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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