Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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