they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
