sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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