sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Help me help you realize you are a moron
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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