Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
