here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
