No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
