i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
