either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize