it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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