Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
