two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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