just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
