Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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