How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
