We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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