I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
