I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
