we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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