oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
