:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
