Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
