you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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