1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
