Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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