Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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