idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
