Barsexuality is the new black.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
