Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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