i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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