This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
