I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
