I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
