Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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