im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize