did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
