You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
