Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
