she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
