nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
