weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
