How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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