chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize