If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
