I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
