She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
