What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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