I want to make a zoo with you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
