I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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