I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's get the cat blown out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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